Tanaka: "yeah..i'm having a painful and ugly day today and they seem to be happening really often suddenly. I don't know why but for some reason me and everyone around me are just all going downhill...its hard to believe the whole world isn't a little down right now

but i'm sure someones getting married, and someone else getting their first guitar, and someone else is having an epiphany, and so on

I don't know how I feel right now. I want to tell you and other people and write it down and know for the sake of knowing but... I dont know. The past few days have shown me that the world is a bright and beautiful place, more than I thought it could be, but being young and naiive and making mistakes can send so many things raining down on you that not a thing even matters except how sad and isolated you feel. I just feel like it takes so long to figure out what the whole world already knows



i'm glad I inspired you."






Me: "things happen for a reason. i don't know if you're a believer of that, but i am a strong believer of it. those feelings of just not knowing what is wrong with me but knowing SOMETHING is, happen to me at least once a month for two weeks. i hate it. and i love it. i love it because those feelings make me feel human and yet when i feel that way i try to convince myself i'm something else. it's strange, but it's sometimes the only reminder i have that reminds me i am alive. i think it's those feelings that push us to learn new things about ourselves. sometimes i think we feel that way because we have something inside that is hidden and just itching to be known, discovered, whatever! because once we understand why we feel that way, we now know and everything feels......... greener. we can breathe lively again instead of shallow. a piece is discovered and we are able to use this new part.

or maybe we are instead broken, and the piece isn't something new but something that was just needed. we figure out we are broken and then we start to try to find ways to fix it. and that is where self realization comes into play as well. while searching for this new piece we end up finding all of these other pieces. sometimes so many we forget we even have a missing piece. ahhhhhhh and it feels so damn good!

think about this hurt as something good. something that's going to make you feel better in reality. because that's what i think it does, for me at least. and you know, if it doesn't work that way for you, then i hope you feel better. because after every storm there is a clear sky."