not sure where this is going anymore... uhhhh

SO CUTE

ohhh my god

YOU ARE MY MAN. SO CLEANNN.

This is getting ugly.

"it's been his fwb for like a year now"

A YEAR? someone is lonely.
and someone, being me, has a bad cough. ahem.

I will marry you

if someone dances like this for me

Just got in a car accident and banged up my knee. Is that gonna stop me from going to the beetroots? NOPE. Bloody Beetroots for the WIN.

Why did you call me. Mascara running down my face is not my best look. FUUUUCCCKKK YOOOUUUUU. Gonna get super fucked up tomorrow no thanks to you. Fucking fuck fuck fuck shit fuck dick shit fuck fuck fucker FUCKING ASSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Fuck. Calvin Harris was awesome. Thank you Jorge Muniz. You always know how to get me drunk. Fuck. FUUUCCKK.

summer song

forever song, never knew single could feel so good ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I always pop those knuckles. Just because you used to do it for me every time.

BUXOM LASHES IS FRIIIIIIIGEN AMAZING. MY EYELASHES ARE LIKE A HALF PIPE. YOU CAN SKATE ON THEM.

Me: **** texted me and was telling me something random and it was just all small talk and whatnot and then he was all "you're cute! we should hang out this weekend. you're legal right?" and then i trying to avoid the idea of hanging out this weekend just said "no not legal yet!" and he said "you're only twenty?!" and i said "yeah?" and then the last thing he said was "damn, no wonder you are so immature."

wtf!!! haha i was so caught off guard. i didnt know what to say?

Damon: 12:46pm

hmm.. haha he was probably just messing with you

but who knows. I know he was kinda confused that night you wee at boons and didnt say much to him.

Me: 12:47pm

thats the last thing he said to me!! hasnt said anything since!

confused?

lol. thats funny.

but yeah he didnt say anything like jk or anyyyyyything. so i took it kind of offensively.

Damon: 12:48pm

Well I dunno that whole thing was odd with you guys anyway, started off odd, ended odd so its kinda like why is he even bothering ya know?

I kinda just dont follow up if there is ever a situation like that

I am not one to recycle things that just arent workin out./

Me: 12:49pm

lol neither am I! i thought he caught that AT boons but i guess not. i see you in public im nice and everything but if im not interested, im not interested.

Damon: 12:50pm

yep pretty much

**** is a cool guy but he is very confused when it comes to women

verrrrrry

doesnt have a clue

cant buy a clue

sucks

Me: 12:51pm

haha. i see that. this is what brianda, sean and i discussed the other night!

cause sean said he didnt understand what girls were into these days when it came to guys and so me and brianda gave him our ideas.

then he gave us his about girls.

Damon: 12:52pm

Oh yea? What do you think it is, but also don't you think there is a different between girls that wanna date a guy and girls that want something more serious?

as to what they are looking for?

i can answer for both: dating : 1. looks 2. money / job/ status be it scene or otherwise 3. humor

serious: 1. humor 2. independence 3. communication

I lack no.2 on both until Nov.1st and no.1 is relative yet i am an older dude-

Me: 12:56pm

well i mean i cant speak for girls in general, we were just giving him our own personal preferences and its funny how you could really tell where me and brianda were seriously different in what we talked about

like what we liked in guys showed how different our personalities were

Damon: 12:57pm

yea and what are your likes?

just out of curiousity

Me: 12:59pm

i can never EVERRRR be attracted to someone who isnt funny. if you aren't funny then im not going to take a second look. i cant. i'm a pretty funny person myself, so someone who can take a joke, make fun of themselves, etc is very appealing.

thats the most important! the second other most important things

thing*

is a guy who doesnt make me feel like i could walk all over them. if a guy comes off as a pushover or someone who cant take the lead, then i am definitely turned off. i like a guy to be able to take the lead, but not so much where its a control thing in the end, but just enough to where he at least feels like a man. if i can get away with murder with a guy, then all he turns out to be is a toy and i dont like that.

other things, sense of responsibility, a guy that can handle himself and do whats necessary. a guy with ambitions and goals, not just a bum who doesnt know what he is doing with himself. someone who can make me feel like they could take care of me. a guy that can balance being nice and too nice. because a guy that is too sweet or too nice just gives me a bad taste in my mouth.

Damon: 1:03pm

Ahhhhh I see.

Me: 1:03pm

OH!

and he has to be able to ignore me sometimes. not too much to where i feel like he is not interested but enough to where i dont feel smothered.

i like to give people their space so i expect mine in return

but if its too much, i eventually just go away

Damon: 1:05pm

Yea? Hmm.. seems like you are a tough cookie to handle haha

Thats good I think you know what you want

Balance i think is what stands out as far as you are concerned

its tough

guys or girls

some are too much some are not enough

I always get dissapointed because the girls I seem to be really interested in are strong minded yet they want someone that they can control or someone that can take charge over them 100% of the time and that usually ends up being some asshole and I am not one of those

Me: 1:08pm

i think girls are just weird.

sooo weird

Damon: 1:08pm

I wholeheartedly agree

Me: 1:09pm

whenever brianda was saying what she liked she said "he has to be brazillian, muscular, half sleeve or tattoos, red car."

hahahaha you can see where me and her are different

Damon: 1:09pm

oh geez

Yea well you know I think you are one of a kind as far as the girls your age that i have met

I was telling my ex about you last night

she asked me what I had been doing if i was talking to anyone and I said no but that I met someone that I really liked but pretty much knew it just wasnt a good time

and that was you.

dont freak out or anything

it was just talk



Few IMS later,

Damon: 1:12pm

haha no your just 20 and you are living life

thats how I see it

it was hard for me to realize that at first when i met you

I thought I was talking to someone my age or in my age group

because you are so smart and so on it

but you are just kinda getting out there and living life and I know you have a lot of growing up to do and I hope you thrive in life and have a really awesome time doing it

if i was 10 years younger tho I wouldnt let you slip away so easily!





I NEED MORE FRIENDS LIKE THISSSSSSSSSSSS. I am in a really weird stage of life, but it'd be nice if there were more supportive ones like Damon.

cat slipperz: i feel good, but not too good, you know what i mean?
Greg: basically you dont feel bad?
cat slipperz: well i mean, i don't feel not bad, but i don't feel bad
cat slipperz: i'm just somewhere in between
cat slipperz: but not so inbetween that i can be like "okay"
Greg: you are in the purgatory of feelings right now
Greg: or are you not even there because purgatory would be "okay".....
cat slipperz: no, i think you are right, i am in purgatory
cat slipperz: cause i mean okay could be under the category of "good"
cat slipperz: cause not bad would go under there
cat slipperz: and okay and not bad are basically synonymous
cat slipperz: cause when someone says not bad they don't exactly mean good or great
cat slipperz: just okay techinically
Greg: i think we just made some quantum sense out of your problem
cat slipperz: yes, i do think progess was made just now
cat slipperz: but i think i just downgraded the progress by spelling progress wrong
Greg: good job
Greg: you set us back 100 im's
cat slipperz: oh fuck

I love chocolate milk. Stay true choco milk. TRUE.

YEAH I GAVE UP. FUCK IT.

I don't have any amazing capabilities. I'm just a compassionate person, and that doesn't make me interesting. That just makes me a sugar compound. Nobody likes too much sugar in their tea or coffee. That just takes away the taste.

We got no chance of recovering.
The joy and misery. The joy the joy the joy miserrryyyy.

This brings back cold weather.

being done and feeling strong finally feels good.
hit the road jack, and don't you come back no more no more no more no more.

I'm drunk.
Sometimes I miss yuo, and sometimes I don't.
Sometimes it doesn't even phase me.
Sometimes it feels as if you never even existed, like maybe you were just a dream.
But then i see your stupied moon scultpteues and sometimes i see that stupid little windmill. and i just want to throw up.
but only when i'm drunk.
cause when i'm sober. i just smile.
fuck im going to delete this in the morning.

i wonder if you miss me.

This is why I am in love with Collins.




Collins:
hahahah yeah
go me!
i swear to god
if i was gay
id be like a kid in a candy shop

12:06pm Me:
LOL

12:06pm Collins:
just fucking picking out all those mother fuckers

12:06pm Me:
that just made me laugh a really sickly, cackly laugh
i'm quoting you on that.

12:06pm Collins:
hahah
ok

12:07pm Me:
that goes into my quote book.

12:07pm Collins:
why do more guys like me than girls?

12:07pm Me:
i like you!

12:07pm Collins:
shit is weird
well you know in general i could get a guy wayyyyyyyyy easier than i could get a girl
am i super gay
like kind of feminine
flaunt my butt a lot or something

12:08pm Me:
ugh i love you.
you were just carved out jesus' left ass cheek

12:08pm Collins:
that sounds homosexual

12:09pm Me:
like maybe you were born to be homosexual but you just arent

12:09pm Collins:
ugh

12:09pm Me:
kind of like homosexual people are born to be straight but arent

12:09pm Collins:
hahah

12:09pm Me:
its just this vicious cycle

12:09pm Collins:
kind of like some people are born pure but then sin themselves to hell
yeah i get it

12:10pm Me:
exactly!

Delete.

4. Fourth Important Lesson - "The Obstacles In Our Path"

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand - "Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition."

Opened my eyes - http://zenhabits.net/zen-attachment/

I'm running on 4 hours of sleep. I still have laundry to do, homework to finish, a closet to clean out (two kinds of closets that is), and the idea of working out more. On the upper hand, I am transferring, I DO get to transfer as a sup, and I will never see this god forsaken place ever again. I need to do this, and now I need to change my telephone number. When you are bitten by a snake, you have to suck all the poison out so that you don't get any sicker than you have to. I'm taking the necessary means, even though it's so much harder than I'm making it seem.

This is going to be a long and cold winter.

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us _universe_, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

LMAO!

www.nirvani.net/misc/emergency/

World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale from World Science Festival on Vimeo.

AND...

http://www.aip.org/history/einstein/essay.htm

I will go to this place. I am determined.

If you're going to be a politician then you should be able to take the criticism. You're not here to be an icon. You're here to give the people someone to look up to, and instead you're giving them a reason to not believe in our country and system. WAY TO BE A DOUCHE.

R.I.P.
A love that never deserved to die.

Fuck this.
You're a liar.

I know I may not be as artsy, creative, pretty, or musically inclined as some, but I bet I can make you laugh, and I bet I can be one of the best supporters you've ever had, and I even bet that I can make you feel better than almost anyone. My talent, is the amount that I can care about a person, and how far I'm willing to go- my beauty comes from the love I give. Forget about your paintings, or your songs, because those aren't always going to carry you, but I have things to carry me for a lifetime.

I miss this day, a lot.

Sleep comes harshly on nights like these.

My eye is getting better.

'My brother and I used to play a game. I'd point to a chair. "THIS IS NOT A CHAIR," I'd say. Bird would point to the table. "THIS IS NOT A TABLE." "THIS IS NOT A WALL," I'd say. "THAT IS NOT A CEILING." We'd go on like that. "IT IS NOT RAINING OUT." "MY SHOE IS NOT UNTIED!" Bird would yell. I'd point to my elbow. "THIS IS NOT A SCRAPE." Bird would lift his knee. "THIS IS ALSO NOT A SCRAPE!" "THAT IS NOT A KETTLE!" "NOT A CUP!" "NOT A SPOON!" "NOT DIRTY DISHES!" We denied whole rooms, years, weathers. Once, at the peak of our shouting, Bird took a deep breath. At the top of his lungs, he shrieked: "I! HAVE NOT! BEEN! UNHAPPY! MY WHOLE! LIFE!" "But you're only seven," I said.' - Nicole Krauss, 'The History of Love'

So maybe I'm not as innocent as I thought I was.

It's not about just the heart. it's about movements. it's about movements in a mass. moving not only yourself but others. pushing for experiences, and giving everything.

i'd put the world in a dark place.

"Why is it so important to you that I believe that something like that could happen. Because I'll tell you. Because if you can convince me, then suddenly your beliefs become more real. Right? The more people you can get to jump on your God's-on-the-wall train, the more your mission's made. So until you get me to swallow your world and believe what you believe, you'll never have the kind of faith you want to have. You'll always have a little bit of doubt. You'll... you'll never know if you're quite right. You'll always kind of be wondering if it's real. You'll always be sitting over there waiting for that man to come waltzing back in from the dead. And that's sad. That's really sad."

Ouch.

LETS GO SKATE, PUNK.

ohhhh myyyyy goddddddddd.

i give up.

Concave was the word he used to describe it.

"It's concave."

What the fuck does that even mean?
I've got too much going for me right now. I don't need anything "concave" in my life.

Get
the
fuck
out.