Sometimes I like to yell really loud just because I can.

I can't decide if the way I feel is really self inflicted or if it's really the way I feel. It's this process in my mind that goes something like: If I don't feel hurt then that must mean I don't care. I have to care, because if I don't, then I must not be a real human being.

I mean what kind of twisted mental idea is THAT? It's disgusting. I feel disgusting. I'm garbage.